So it turns out being pregnant for the first time leads to an endless string of relatively unanswerable questions (that may or may not be keeping me up at night):
Is the baby healthy? What name sounds equally dignified and precious? What if she doesn’t sleep well in this bright sunny room? What if she doesn’t sleep at all? What if I don’t sleep at all? What if I have to randomly go out of town for work and don’t have daycare lined up? What if we are all too tired to do laundry everyday to wash the 80 reusable wipes my mom is so kindly making for us? Will she be mad if we don’t use them? What if my sister moves here to help us and then doesn’t like it here? How much is my insurance going to go up after my personal population doubles in size? Will my short-term disability pay be enough during maternity leave? What if my temp is better at my job than I am? What if never get used to moving car seats around? What if we don’t agree on a stroller? Am I asking my doctor the right questions? Am I gaining too much weight? When will I actually look pregnant? What supplements should I be taking? Why are there so many conflicting studies about pregnancy (and health in general)? Is my advice nurse sick of me bothering her yet? Is the dog going to like the baby? What about a church? And schools? And a college fund? And retirement fund? And and and and and to infinity!
I mean, seriously. The unknown is just so… abstract. It can really make a person a little crazy! And then I feel her little feet or arms or whatever she’s got going on in there bang around and somehow I just chill. Sometimes the unknown is sweeter and easier than the definite. Her name is Cassidy Bree Black, and I can’t wait to meet her!!
A moment of total peace in the dahlia field when my mama was visiting:
Eli’s birthday present from my parents; although I think this might be a tad small:
We found a matching baby hat at Cabela’s that says “I hunt for hugs” which nearly brought me to tears. Never thought I’d get so emotional over a gun joke. 🙂