I really feel like I’ve come a long way this year.
Most of you probably don’t know this, but a few years ago I visited a plastic surgeon to see how much “fixing my body” would cost. According to this fancy miracle-working doctor (who told me my body certainly wasn’t “youthful” looking), it would cost around twenty-five thousand dollars. Once that idea was off the table, I really had to look inward and figure out how I’d come to terms with this excess skin and sagginess that was literally haunting me. And besides, would $25k really change me for the better?
Turns out normal people like us need to find more sustainable and affordable ways of altering our lives. For me, learning to accept my outer shell has been such a mandatory work in progress. But now for the first time in my whole life, I’m starting to not hate my naked reflection. Instead of seeing too much of everything, I’m now seeing hard work. Toned legs, slight muscle definition in my arms, even (gasp!) a noticeable collar bone!
A friend recently posted on Facebook a quote by a writer I admire, Anne Lamott. Her themes on acceptance, addiction, love and faith sit so deeply with me.
Today I loved my body by taking it on a bike ride to work and back. And this weekend Eli and I will try to hike up a mountain as we honor my miracle ankle (currently pain-free!)… the walk will leave me breathless, and I’ll curse my extra baggage (even though he’ll be the one carrying all of our stuff, including my water)… and after we’ll have pizza and beer, truly enjoying every bite and sip of our reward. With acceptance comes balance.
Now it’s time for Weigh-in Wednesday. As always, I’m super nervous. I don’t know why. Nothing will be different afterward, but I need that number on the scale to keep my health in check. So that’s that.