acceptance

I really feel like I’ve come a long way this year.

Most of you probably don’t know this, but a few years ago I visited a plastic surgeon to see how much “fixing my body” would cost. According to this fancy miracle-working doctor (who told me my body certainly wasn’t “youthful” looking), it would cost around twenty-five thousand dollars. Once that idea was off the table, I really had to look inward and figure out how I’d come to terms with this excess skin and sagginess that was literally haunting me. And besides, would $25k really change me for the better?

Turns out normal people like us need to find more sustainable and affordable ways of altering our lives. For me, learning to accept my outer shell has been such a mandatory work in progress. But now for the first time in my whole life, I’m starting to not hate my naked reflection. Instead of seeing too much of everything, I’m now seeing hard work. Toned legs, slight muscle definition in my arms, even (gasp!) a noticeable collar bone!

A friend recently posted on Facebook a quote by a writer I admire, Anne Lamott. Her themes on acceptance, addiction, love and faith sit so deeply with me.

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Today I loved my body by taking it on a bike ride to work and back. And this weekend Eli and I will try to hike up a mountain as we honor my miracle ankle (currently pain-free!)… the walk will leave me breathless, and I’ll curse my extra baggage (even though he’ll be the one carrying all of our stuff, including my water)… and after we’ll have pizza and beer, truly enjoying every bite and sip of our reward. With acceptance comes balance.

Now it’s time for Weigh-in Wednesday. As always, I’m super nervous. I don’t know why. Nothing will be different afterward, but I need that number on the scale to keep my health in check. So that’s that.

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4 thoughts on “acceptance

  1. Kelly I love you so much and this blog post is what I’ve wanted to read from you for a long time. My question lies in what is your perfect number on the scale? What will you subsequent health be at that point? I think with acceptance also comes being in tune with your body and looking inward for validation instead of that scale…to me that is true freedom. That is all my yoginess for today. You got this Kelly, you are truly beautiful in every way.

    • I’d like to make it into the 160s, but I’m super happy at any weight that is comfortable to move in. I really believe these 8 lbs down have helped my pain issues. The scale keeps me in check… Learning to not obsess though… Balance is key.

  2. Kelly, this is blog is so beautiful. Coming to terms with our outer shell is really hard to do and I am so proud of you for coming to term with it, Keep up the great job you are doing. love you

  3. Rebecca just made a comment that a lot of people have trouble coming to term with their appearance. It takes a long time to accept their outer shell and for you to come to term with it is really beautiful. just thought you would like to know this

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